SATO'S SCISSORS
by Bowleena
Summary: Satoshi has a pair of scissors... oh, the horror!Basically pure OOC insanity. Rated T because I don't want to underrate.Look inside!


AN: HERE IT IS! What you've all been waiting for/had no idea existed! SATO'S SCISSORS! I originally came up with this when my brother got his hair cut… a year ago. Dedicated to him, Eem (for cutting my own hair diagonally) and Q… just cause.

Disclaimer: Just 'cause he's never in my fanfics, Daiki (Daisuke grandpa) can do the disclaimer!

Daiki: Bowleena-san does not own DNAngel!

Me: And I don't own the scissors either… those are Eem's! But one day, Sato-chan will be mine! But not yet…

Daiki: Hey, you said I could do the disclaimer!

Me: You did the real part, I did the funny part!

Warning: Contains OOC-ness, shonen-ai jokes, and scissors.

"NO!" Daisuke, Dark and Krad yelled at the seemingly innocent Satoshi, who was holding a small pair of scissors with green handles.

"What? I haven't said anything!" the blue-haired bishie protested.

"You've been threatening the cut my hair since… well, a long time!" Krad pointed out.

"You have recently taken a liking to staring at my hair with a gleam in you eye, snapping you fingers like scissors." Dark added.

"You've made many a comment on how crazy my hair is, and how I should get it cut." Daisuke pitched in.

"Oh. Was I always that obvious? Oh well. Prepare to meet your doom, hair!" With a cackle, Satoshi jumped at Krad, who suddenly took to the air. Dark, thinking that was a good idea, sprouted his own wings and followed Krad into the sky.

Daisuke gulped, and place a hand on his head as if to protect his hair.

Satoshi slowly turned to the red head, a glint of insanity, formally seehn Krad's eyes, showing itself in Satoshi's.

"So, you're volunteering? How kind!" and with a flash of blue, the crazed teen suddenly had Daisuke pinned to the ground.

"The truth is, I could care less about the statue. You see, I've devoted my life… to finding… and capturing you!"

He's remembering that time when he had me/Dark pinned to the grund the first time I stole! Daisuke thought. (AN: Satoshi says those words in the manga)

Snapping out of thought, Daisuke pushed Satoshi off of him and ran.

"Nooooooo come back I must cut your haaaiiirrr!!!!" Satoshi chased after the red head.

He's insane. Satoshi Hiwatari has finally snapped! Daisuke thought as he ran down the street.

"Come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come baka baka baka baka" And for some reason, my darling Sato-chan started singing the Baka Song.

He spun in circles, snapping the scissors, saying bakabakabaka over and over.

When Daisuke realized that Satoshi had stopped chasing him, he looked behind him. What he saw was quite a sight. A whirling cyclone of blue and green, with two flying people above the cyclone. One had black wings, one with white.

Daisuke crept closer to Satoshi. "Bakabakabaka" was all he could hear. Then Dark said something.

"You think it's safe to go near him?"

"I think so…" said Daisuke.

"Well, I'm taking those scissors from him!" Declared Krad, and jumped into the cyclone. A buzzing sound was heard, accompanied with s very girlie scream, and suddenly Krad was thrown out, his head pony tail cut… DIAGONALLY!

"Nooooo my poor hair it's all messed up my haaaiiirrr!!!!" Krad started bawling his eyes out, Sailor Moon-style.

"Well, I'm certainly more coordinated than that demon, I'll take the scissors from him!" And Dark jumped into the cyclone. A couple snip snips were heard, accompanied with another girlie scream, and Dark was thrown out of the cycle. His head was shaved close at the sides, but he had a long strip of hair running down the middle of his head.

"Noo noo my beautiful hard-to-draw hair! It's all messed uppp!!!! And… it's yellow! NOOOOOO" Dark joined Krad with the crying-Sailor-Moon-style. The two demons cried in each others arms, sobbing, acasionally screaming 'My HAIR!'

"Daisuke just sweat dropped, and then RAN AWAY!!!

The cyclone stopped, as did the baka song. "… Daisuke? COME BACK I WANT YOU COME BAAACCKKK!"

Some random people passing by fainted.

Satoshi stepped over the people, and carried on after Daisuke.

"K-san, what's this all about?" A strange man in sunglasses carrying a pink stuffed rabbit asked.

The tall man beside him with long yellow hair, also wearing sunglasses, replied "Don't worry, Ryu-chan, it's just some dead people in the middle of the road. Oh, and two men with wings and odd haircuts crying in each others arms. Nothing to worry about!"

Meanwhile, Daisuke was hiding behind a trash bin.

While Satoshi ran around screaming, "I WANT YOU DAISUKE!!!"

More people passed out.

A giant Dinosaur came and ate the 'dead' people. But Kumagoro saved them.

So, back to Krad and Dark…

"Waaaaah my pooor hair!!! I've been growing it for 400 years now, and it was finally perfect…!" screamed Krad, confusing everyone, since how could someone live for 400 years?

"My hair! Now it's so stupid! Though it's still hard to draw! Though NOT AS HARD!!! I'll probably be used as girl repellent, since I'm now so uuuggglllyyy!!!" moaned Dark.

"BOOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Daisuke could hear their crying form his hiding spot behind the trash bin. He sweat dropped.

"AH HA! There you are!" It was Satoshi!

Satoshi jumped on top of Daisuke. Daisuke screamed a girly scream. There was a buzzing sound, then Satoshi jumped off Daisuke and ran away laughing.

Daisuke's hand slowing moved to his head. His hand touched his scalp.

He was bald.

"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"BOOO HOOO!!"

"WAAAAAAAH!!"

"Bakabaka hahaha!!!"

Everyone who hadn't fainted yet, did. Except for Kumagoro. Since he saved everyone from the Dinosaur, he got to stay awake and watch Satoshi cut everyone's hair.

THE END

AN: Well, that was without doubt the STUPIDEST story I have ever written. It's even stupider than any of my DNAngel thoughts stories. O.o

Now I shall type out my Gravitation Drabble…

Yay for blue popsicles, -Bowleena


End file.
